I Love God for Real

Post:
Not for show.
Not for the post.
Not because I was told to — but because I’ve met God. And I love God for real.

I love God because I’ve needed God.
Because I’ve been in rooms where no one saw me but Him.
Because I’ve cried prayers I didn’t have words for, and still felt peace show up anyway.
Because I’ve been mad, confused, heartbroken, and halfway done — and God didn’t flinch.

I don’t worship a distant deity who only shows up when I’m smiling and clean.
I walk with a God who comes close when I’m in the pit.
Who holds me when my heart is shattered.
Who doesn't shame me for my questions or my boundaries or my therapy.
A God who says, “You are still holy, even when you're healing.”

My faith is lived.
It’s in the way I care for my husband when no one’s watching.
In the way I show up for my kids when I’m tired.
In the way I choose joy even when grief lingers.
In the way I rest — because I know I’m not the one holding the universe together.

I’ve been through too much to fake it.
And I’ve seen too much of God to ever walk away.

I love God because He loved me when I couldn’t love myself.
Because grace has carried me when strength ran out.
Because Jesus saw me. Not the filtered version. Me. The loud one. The soft one. The bold one. The one with questions and fire and a lot of “why’s.”
And He stayed.

I don’t need a platform to prove my faith.
I just need the quiet assurance that I am not alone.
And baby, I’m not.

So yes — I love God.
I love God because He is home.
Because I know what it's like to be lost and found.
Because His love is not transactional — it's transformational.

My faith holds me in the Sweet Between.
In the “not yet,” in the wilderness, in the waiting rooms, in the overflow.
I don’t walk it perfectly — but I walk it honestly.

And that? That’s enough.

With love and deep thanks,
Maya